I'm better today.

Introducing this fab restaurant I had my lunch at yesterday-

Tao's (: at Paradiz Centre.

The starter-
It's not like garlic bread and soup.
Its like this baked potato cheese thingie in a pan and you can smear it over your bread.
:D

Then the salads-

Not as fantastic though.
But the way they presented it was really stylo!

Pumpkin soup,
this thing is so cute-
My main dish was Fish Flounder with Cheese-

The waiter was helpful enough to help me position the dish so I could take a nice picture of it (:

My uncle's Pork Ribs. Award-winning, they say.

My favourite Ice Rose Tea.
This is so cute-
And finally, dessert.
Snow souffle-

Frankie came to Grams yesterday!
I wasn't angry at you, Frankie.
It was something else.
No worries =]
Btw, nice hair.
And lastly to show you that I had a blood test yesterday which hurt ): -

I hope I spoiled your appetite.
Gosh, I feel so mean right now.
xP

Last night's thunderstorm,
was half my nightmare.

Its better to have the memories locked up in my heart,
than never having a chance to experience it at all.

I wanna be stronger tomorrow.

I feel so horrible.
Like a shipwreck sunken to the depths of the ocean.
I feel like screaming,
yet I feel like crying it all out.
I don't know which I should do,
to make me feel better.
All I can think about is the past.
You telling me it cannot be possible anymore.
How I'm missing it all.
The hot, afternoon sun.
The walk-you-homes.
I'm stuck in the past,
help me find a way to move on.
Memories don't fade.
The pain still sears.
What am I supposed to do,
what do I say?
Flashbacks.
And more flashbacks.
The present is now,
the future is tomorrow.
I wanna be happy.
I wanna stand at the top of the world.
With you.
Buy me a flower.
Send me a card.
I'm wishing you'd say that you love me,
like how we always do.


---
I'm such an emo crap.
Here, pictures for you all.Speech Day back at HSS.



The programme.

Choir =] You guys sang really well!

Special awards.

Proud of you dear, Hendersonian of the Year Award.

Missed secondary school friends-


Happy to meet Brian after lunch around Queensway area. We took the bus to Tiong cos he had choir there, and I was heading for my Grams for dinner.

And me with a stupid flower.


Okay.
Enough.

You return home,
and the familiar but dreaded smell seeps into my room.
Really,
I ain't got nothing to say.


Alright so Speech Day was fun.
Pictures tomorrow.
Gonna see a doc,
cos my legs have been numbing and hurting since last week.
Might have to do a blood test too.

Ah well.

There's so much to think about,
but I'm tired right now.

Speech Day back at HSS tomorrow,
hope everything goes well.

I think this is accurate.

How Are You in Love?

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.
In relationships, you tend to be a bit selfish.
You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.
You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.
You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.


I saw a mob of H2 and H1 Econs student outside LT2, cos they were waiting around for their test.
It was like a mass parade.


First floor outside LT2.Second floor outside LT2.

HAHA.
I've never seen anything like this.

To touch down in the delta blues,
its the first reunion of me and you.

I don't have anything much to say,
except that I really miss you.

I don't know why,
but I'm pissed at the world right now.

The moment I reached home I wish I could turn back.
The whole living room smelled like a pub.
Cigarettes and beer.
It hit my nose like a wave,
and I quickly retreated to my room,
only to find you there.

I don't know how to put this,
but you stinked up my room with the stench
that doesn't seem to go away till now.

And I bet you didn't know how IMMUNE
my nose was to cigarettes.
Its like I'm having flu right now.

People say,
that Dads are the strong, silent type people,
they love their daughters and sons deeply,
but they just don't know how to show it.

I think you just missed it.

I hurled myself onto the bed with my diary and pens in hand,
scrawling out the first few alphabets,
then exhaustion started to seep in.
Tears of disappointment came in an abrupt second.
I was crying for everything again.

I finished up what I was writing,
placed the book between my toys and my favourite pillow,
switched off the lights,
and went to sleep.

When I woke up,
there was no one at home,
only darkness greeting me,
through the ill-lit shaft of light that shone
onto the table which lay my dinner.

I had no appetite to eat.

Oh well.

Yesterday,
studied with Charlene, (Euge came later) and Kenny at Taka library.
Apparently there were no seats,
so we decided to be funny,
and sat in a corner on the floor using stools as desks.

Studied till about 5plus,
headed to Mos Burger to grab a bite,
then home.

Nothing much for school today.
Got back my SEA essay - 13/25 ):
They said it would be like this the first time.
Map test - 22/32
):
Hai.

I didn't know the meaning of this song,
but I think I do now.

WHITE HOUSES - VANESSA CARLTON

Crashed on the floor when I moved in
This little bungalow with some strange new friends
Stay up too late, and I'm too thin
We promised each its till the end
Now we're spinning empty bottles, its the five of us
The pretty-eyed boys girls die to trust
I can't resist the day
No I can't resist the day

Jenny screams out and its no pose
Cos when she's dancing,
she goes and goes
A beer through the nose on an inside joke
And I'm so excited,
I haven't spoken
She's so pretty and she's so sure
Maybe I'm more clever than a girl like her
Summer's all in bloom
Summer's ending soon

It's alright
And its nice not to be so alone
But I hold on to your secrets
In white houses

Maybe I'm a little bit over my head
I've come undone,
at the things he said
And he's so funny in his bright red shirt
We were all in love,
and we got hurt
I sneak into his car's black leather seat
The smell of gasoline in the summer heat
Boy we're going way too fast
Its all too sweet to last

It's alright,
and I put myself in his hands
But I hold onto your secrets
In white houses
Love,
or something ignites in my veins
And I pray it never fades
In white houses

My,
first,
time,
hard to explain
Rush of blood, oh
And a little bit of pain
On a cloudy day
Well its more common than you think
He's, my,
first,
mistake

Maybe you were all faster than me
We gave each other up so easily
These silly little wounds,
will never mend
I feel so far from where I've been
So I go,
and I will not be back here again
I'm gone as the day is fading
On white houses

I lied,
wrote my injuries all in the dust
In my heart is the five of us
In white houses
And you,
maybe you'll remember me
What I gave is yours to keep
In white houses
In white houses
In white houses

(:

Phantom of the Opera was EXCELLENT!

I don't know how to describe it, but
it was really worth it my 160.

I'm just happy that I got to watch it this time.

For not falling asleep,
(: Thanks sweetheart <3

Didn't take much pictures, only these I guess-
On the way in the car to get to Raffles City to meet Luke for dinner.
If only my hair looked this nice all the time.

And since he refused to take a picture with me during the interval,
I took this pic instead-

My leg looks fat ): and yes there's your new Converse shoes from Aus, honey.
So nice lor.

Oh well.
My cousin's grandmother passed away just today,
so..
My parents just left for the funeral.
Pray that she rests in peace.
Though I didn't get to see her as much,
I know she was a really nice old lady.
Yupp.

It doesn't matter what time I sleep anymore.
1AM seems to be bed-time now.

Our new classmate Dea, just joined us not long,
and today during GPPW,
she handed this around the class.

(: It looked like this-So cute right?!
Chocolate coated marshmallow with some sticky gooey sweet stuff inside.
All I knew was the guys ate alot?
Hmm.

And oh, 125's word for the Pocky stuff you eat everyday is "love".
So when you hear us calling out for "love",
no we're not calling for you,
but for you to give the Pocky in your hands to us.
:D :D

So I got Charlene to pose too.

I don't know why she looks so weird.

And I think the Arts students in our class are really cool. Look at what HuiChi drew on her mind map.
I had to stop her from drawing. But this is really cute.

And Charlene fell asleep in Chinese. Teehee. Look!

I sincerely do not know where I get my energy to blog.

Last photo for now, my squash court.
Oh, I miss the slams and whacks and the what-nots so.



Oh whee.
PHANTOM OF THE OPERA TOMORROW NIGHT!
(: (: (:



There will come a day,
when you won't miss what it all used to be..
strangely enough.

Well hello.
I'm slacking big time right now.

I'll just go sleep right after this.
Sweetheart,
don't stay up too late.
If you do,
you'll start complaining tomorrow again ):

My parents have been pissing me off-
my Mom's forcing me to get up on time 6.15 exactly,
so she can rush me to school and not be late for work.
But I DO get tired,
whether I sleep at 12.30AM or 1AM.
My Dad's complaining about my hair loss.
He says he sees 50-100 strands everytime.
I was like, "Please."
Stop exaggerating.
Or do you just want me to get cancer?

Its really dumb.
All of it.

*ROAR.

Pictures I took with my favourite people-

MinShian(:Charlene(: Hey thats my pose!

And this drawing kinda sucks.
Never mind.
Decided not to post it up cos it really looks horrible.

Off I go.

Not such a good day.

I waited long for the rain to stop,
I was so afraid cos it was thundering.

I went home alone,
and didn't have appetite for dinner.

Shampoo entered my left eye as I washed my hair.
It stung so much I thought I was going to go blind.

My printer decided to spew out blank paper instead of printing out my proper PI draft one for me.

I don't have a good supper,
and I'm hungry.


Everybody just wants to go back to the past,
don't they?

I Don't Wanna Fight No More - Westlife

I can't sleep
Everything I ever knew
Is a lie
Without you

I can't breathe
When my heart is broken in two
There's no beat
Without you

You're not gone,
but you're not here
Its that the way it seems tonight
If we could try to end these wars,
I know that we can make it right
Cos baby

I don't wanna fight no more
I forget what we were fighting for
And this loneliness thats in my heart
Won't let me be apart from you
I don't wanna have to try
To live without you in my life
So I'm hoping we can start tonight
Cos I don't wanna fight no more

How can I leave,
when everything that I adore,
and everything that I'm living for,
its in you

I can't dream
Sleepless nights have got me bad
The only dream I ever had
Is being with you

I know that we can make it right
Its gonna take a little more time
Lets not leave ourselves with no way out
Lets not cross that line

I don't wanna fight no more
I forgot what we were fighting for
And this loneliness thats in my heart
Won't let me be apart from you
I don't wanna have to try
To live without you in my life
So I'm hoping we can start tonight
Cos I don't wanna fight no more

Remember that I made a vow
That I would never let you go
I meant it then, I mean it now
And I want to tell you so

I don't wanna fight no more
I forgot what we were fighting for
And this loneliness thats in my heart
Won't let me be apart from you
I don't wanna have to try
To live without you in my life
So I'm hoping we can start tonight
Cos I don't wanna fight no more

Its all a lie
Without you
Without you..

I'm in such a disturbed state I can't do my work.

Did it rain today?
Cos the air smelt like after-rain on my way back home.

In the car to school today,
I wasn't feeling too good.
My stomach was gripped by a hard, twisting pain,
that seems to take hold of my organs and twist them all around.
It hurt so much I thought I couldn't walk.
When I dropped off at school,
I immediately went to bomb.
Lucky I felt better after that.

School went on as usual.
Nothing much.

Went home alone,
and slept on the train.
I can't believe I really slept.
I can't believe I was that tired.

Oh well.


I know you're tired,
but all we have to do is to just hold on.
I may not be able to convince you today,
or even tomorrow,
or the day after tomorrow,
but no matter what happens,
please just hang on,
cos remember,
you're not the only one.

I've been meaning to put this here.

Have you ever wondered what hurts the most?
Saying something you wished you hadn't?
Saying nothing and wishing you had?

The most important things are the hardest to say.
Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.

Have you decided not to be together with someone because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person?
Your heart decides who it likes and who it doesn't.
You can't tell your heart what to do.

Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had,
but that other person was too afraid to let you?

Too many of us stay walled up cos,
we are too afraid to care too much,
for fear that the other person does not care as much,
or even at all.

Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.

Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done,
or could have done.

* What would you do if everytime you fell in love and had to say goodbye?

* What would you if everytime you wanted someone they would never be there?

* What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them?


Heartbreaks and pain.
They come,
they'll go.
Trust me.

(: To my friends starting Poly tomorrow, I hope you'll have loads of fun.

As for me,
I may look like a vampire tomorrow,
with almost blood-shot eyes.
Urgh.

Tonight,
I ate at the same food court we'd usually have our dinner at,
every Wednesday night after CCA.

I ordered the usual Green Tea I usually would,
split open the tab and poured the drink into the ice.
Lowering my head to take my first sip,
I was hit by a sudden pain.

It brought me back to the Wednesday nights we'd share a single Green Tea, drinking from the same straw.

I don't know why it suddenly hurt so much.
I guess I missed you.

Who knows what might happen when we say "forever".
I may lose you to the long long years ahead,
but I definitely can't lose you now.

I may be saying this for the thousandth time,
but I don't care.
No matter what, for now,
you're mine and I'm yours.

Though it is only right and down-to-earth that we talk about the future,
I'm happy that we got this far.

Seeing you smile is like sunshine pouring into my heart.
What does my smile do to you?

"Baby, you gotta believe in the things that make you and me win together.
Don't you throw in the towel,
cos I'm keeping my promise to you,
I got your back now."


As for friendships, old or new,
you all still matter to me.
Take back all the harsh words and the "I'm-sorry"s,
cos 4 years of friendship is something we should cherish.

To my past and present,
I love you all and of cos I'll always be there for you,
wherever you are,
if you need me (:

I drew this for my cousin and she seemed greatly amused.
The idea was stolen from Ling Ling.

Took this emo-pic a few hours back.
It's already 1.40 AM now.
I stayed up cos I remembered there were matches on Saturday nights.


I hope this doesn't scare you too much.
I think it's really cool.

And this is how the sky looks like on my way to school.

I'm just being random.

The words flow the same way,
but the heart sings a different tune.

Hello all.

I'm in school right now.

I'm supposed to do my PI.

And my teacher doesn't know I'm blogging.

So haha.

"There's nothing more comforting than numbness,
that seeps through the veins of my painful heart."

Well hello.

This is quite funny. I got it from Friendster.

D: Has one of the best personalities ever (=
E: A GOOD KISSER (Pucker up, sweetheart =P)
B: Likes people
B: Likes people (Okok. I get the point.)
I: Loyal to those you love (Sure is!)
E: A GOOD KISSER (Hahaha.)

So this morning's Chem test was in the AVA.
I came in almost late cos I met Elizabeth and Cindy on the way.
I was so embarrassed cos the projector was screening our seating plan,
I didn't have my glasses on sooo,
I couldn't see lah.
So malu.

I think I'm gonna flunk it.
So is everyone, right?

Mr Lim didn't turn up for SEA lecture today,
and so we didn't have any teacher for CSE either.
Speaking of which,
CSE and CSC students will be going to China, Beijing,
19 May to 28 May.
I don't know whether I should feel happy or sad.
I'll be missing my 10th Aunt's wedding which I'm SO looking forward to.
But oh well.

At least I have Kenny.
Oh no.
I only have KENNY.
SHIT.

Yupp.
Hmm, what else?
Can't think now.

Oh oh.
Take a look at my class guys.
I think they were just bored during SEA History where we had like, free period.


Um.
From left to right,
Lynard seems like he's emo-ing,
Kenny looks happy to be raped,
JunYan looks mortified,
and Perry is trying to be the elephant he saw on Animal Planet last weekend.

(:

Okay,
really need to study for my test tomorrow.
If I screwed Chem,
I won't screw History.

"With each word, your tenderness grows,
tearing my fears apart.
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
it touches my foolish heart."

I'm quite tired from switching from Chemistry and History today.
):
Its so tiring. I officially give up on my studying.
Pray hard that I do well tomorrow.
*Please please please.
I mean, I don't have a Chem tutor!
Hmph.

I'm still brooding over my hair,
cos one of the curls stick out a little when I tie it up.
Now I have to use hairpins.
Its so darn irritating.

So after studying,
my table looks like this -


It could get worse, you know.
I'm just afraid I won't do well.
ARGH.

My hair is alright,
I hope it stays that way.
At least I can take cute pictures.
See -

So nerdy.

"Baby, oh your secret's safe with me,
there's no where else in the world I'd rather be."

I can't believe I turned into this in 15 minutes.

Don't you DARE tell me I look alright.

I mean, just LOOK at the CURLS!

Look at how damn short the whole thing is!

I'm gonna tie my hair up.

)):

Should I re-bond?
So that when it grows back it doesn't curl?

And I don't look cute can.
HAIIIIYERRRR.

Sweetheart, I hope you really don't mind me tying up my hair more often than usual now.
-I'm sorry.
And cheer up k?

The heart cries no longer.

Nothing,
is more natural and beautiful to me
than you making me smile every single day
(:


You're the half of me I can't erase.

I'm tired.

All that matters now is you and me.
The rest of it,
I don't care much anymore.

I'm just cranky when I'm tired.
I wish my parents would leave me alone.


Falling head over heels,
thought I knew how it feels.
But with you is like the first day of my life
..
You manage to disarm me,
my soul is shining through
Can't help but surrender,
my everything to you.

<33333 (:

School ended at 5,
if I didn't grab a bowl of noodles to eat with Char, MinShian and Hannah,
I would have gotten gastric and suffered all the way home.

I looked for Mr Goh at the rifle range,
and asked him loads of Math outside the library.
Left school at 6.45PM, and surprisingly,
I felt alright.

The MRT station was crowded,
but I got on the train anyway.
Though it was a long ride to the interchange,
I kept my mind clear.
But I just began to think about you.

I never noticed tonight was a full moon,
until I looked up at the sky at the interchange.
A cool wind was blowing, the air was cold.
I never noticed the sky was really dark by then.
Did you?

Walking home without you felt like a sense of accomplishment.
But at the end of the day,
no matter how many great things I've achieved without you,
nothing
can replace half the emptiness tinging in the core of my soul.

Do you understand?

You know,
it feels good to be sixteen(:
But then again,
its not nice not to be eighteen):

As long as I keep away from M18 shows that I wanna watch,
I'll be fine ^^